Suffering in Silence
by BookPrincess28
Summary: Sometimes, I wonder why am I still alive. I mean, I had no place to call home; the place I sleep in is Hell. Yet, I never told anyone about my predicament, I kept it secret. I wish someone would save me. I had no one, I need someone. Pairing: TezukaxOC. First attmept at a non-yaoi, so please do review and tell me how to improve.
1. Rue Execratus

**CR: I suddenly had an idea of a new story and I just had to write it down. This is the first time I wrote in a first person's POV, so please be kind! This is also the first time I am not writing yaoi. I just want to see how well I can write non-yaoi romance in a first person's POV. Do enjoy! **

Hello, everyone. I know you do not know me. Well, let me introduce myself. My name is Rue Execratus. Yes, I know, weird name right? I am 12 this year, and I will be attending a school called Seishun Gakuen, Seigaku for short. I was an academic genius and musically inclined, and thus I was put in 3rd year. But I am not as perfect as you think I am. 12 years ago, while my father was out of town for work, his older brother, Jurou raped my mom. This resulted in the pregnancy and birth of me. They named me Rue, after the flower of regret, symbolizing the fact that the birth of me was the regret. My father died when I was 3, leaving my mother to care for me. Unfortunately, I was often abused by her since his death, but really, his death made no difference; I was still beaten by them even before my 3rd birthday. Today's my first day of school, and I am going to wear a gakuren, a boy's uniform in Japan schools, because I want to cover all the hideous whip marks and cuts I got from her. Well, my face is relatively unscathed, except for my forehead, which has marks as well. I grew my fringe long to cover those ugly scars. Aren't I lucky my face was spared? Well, let's get back to the story, I won't hold you back any longer.

"Wake up, Rue, you lazy bastard!" my mother screeches. "You're going to be late for school!"

"Yes, mum." I mumble. Today's breakfast is simple. Leftover bits of cereal with half a bowl of milk. I gulped down the milk and went to refresh myself. I change into the gakuren and grabbed my book bag. My mother throws my pocket money at me. "Here's your weekly allowance. Be sure not to spend it in one day!" she snarls. I counted the money she has given me. I only had 620 yen. Each train ticket already cost 62 yen, and I know I would have to starve. Nice going, mom. You have found a way to abuse me at school too, by not giving me food. Oh well, what can I do? I pocket my lunch money, open the door, and went out of my house. I take the train to school by reading the direction maps provided in the train. I walked to the school campus, where there are many students milling around and talking. I went in the office, where there are phones ringing and teachers talking to each other. I walked up to the nearest secretary. "Hello, how may I help you?" she said kindly.

"I'm Rue, the new student." I reply. The woman typed away at her computer, and smiled.  
"Yes, you're the genius, I believe? You're in class 3-1." I give her my thanks and made my way there. I hesitated, before tentatively knocking on the door. A teacher opened the door. "Ah, you must be the new student!" I nodded. "Please wait out here until I announce you." I nod again and listened as she went back in the classroom.

"Class, we have a new student today. She is a 12 year old, but a genius. Please be kind to her. You may come in now," the sensei said, nodding towards me. I walked in with shaky steps, and turned to face the class. They all stared at me with eager eyes, and I heard some whispers, wondering what my eye color was because my eyes were covered by my hair.

"My name's Rue Execratus. I hope you can take care of me." I said softly, bowing my head down. I heard someone whisper the word 'shy'.

"Well, you can sit next to Tezuka-kun, right over there." She points at the seat somewhere in the middle. A boy with brown hair and glasses was sitting there, with a somewhat stern expression on his face. I cast a frightened look at my teacher. "Don't worry, he doesn't bite." The class laughed. I bow my head slightly, and shuffled to the assigned seat. As the talking and whispering died down, the teacher started the Chemistry lesson. I sigh silently and paid attention. The teacher states that whatever substances injected into our bodies must be around the same pH as our blood. She asks if anyone knows what would happen if the pH difference is big. Just then, the Tezuka boy tapped on my table. I turn to him. He pointed to the teacher, who says, "Execratus, do you know what would happen?" Oh. She was asking me. Well, let's take a guess.

"They die, I guess." I mutter.

"Correct! They die." says the teacher.

I spend the rest of the Science lesson just staring blankly at the teacher and at the screen, occasionally taking notes. Once Science is over, it's time for break. As if by instinct, I headed up to the rooftop. The breeze was nice and the sun beating down on my face was refreshing! I breathed in the cool, fresh air and I felt slightly better. Just then, the door opened, and my seatmate came in.

"Oh, you're my new seatmate."

"Yes. It's a surprise to meet you here."

"I usually come up here for lunch. What are you doing up here? Aren't you going to have lunch?"

I stop short. I can't tell this boy I don't have enough money for lunch, right? My secret will be blown and God knows what will happen to me. I vehemently shook my head, and said, "No, I'm not hungry, er….." Oh darn it! I forgot his name and it's only the first day.

"Tezuka. Tezuka Kunimitsu." says the boy, as if he knows what I forgot.

"Yes, as I was saying, Tezuka, I am not hungry."

"This is the only time you can eat, and if you don't eat now, you'll go hungry later." Tezuka states. If only he knew what I've been through. "Alright, sure, If you say so!" I say.

"Oh, yeah, and Execratus?"

"Yeah?"

"Your hair's too long, cut it." Ok. I've just heard the fact that I have to eat during lunch, and now I have to hear how long my hair was and how it will affect my appearance? No thank you! I snap at him, "I am not going to cut my hair! NO, spelled N-O! And I'll thank you not to meddle with my business!" With that, I turned on my heel, and left, leaving my seatmate blinking at me in slight confusion. I swear he's going to be the death of me one day.

**CR: Wow, this is so lousy. Do review and tell me how to improve this story and tell me what you think of my story so far!**


	2. Her Split Personality

**BP: I know, I have not been updating this for a long time, but still, here's chapter 2, I hope it's better than the last one.**

"Mum, I'm home!" I announce, as I place my bag on the floor. Silence. This must mean mum is either out at work, or I hate to say this, drinking. Probably the latter, though. I shrug, and then go to the kitchen to prepare lunch for myself. You might think 12-year-old girls can't cook for themselves, but that's where you are wrong. I can cook well. I know what you're thinking, I am lying or I am using some machine to cook my lunch, well, I'll just say this: You don't know me like you think you do. I turn on the stove, place the ingredients on the wok, pour cooking oil on it, and started mixing them with a spatula. When I can smell the aroma from the wok, I turn it off, and added them to the plain rice, taken from the rice cooker. I take a can of coke from the fridge, and settle down on the dining room to eat. I open my History textbook and started reading at the same time. After my study session and lunch, I take all my stuff back to my room.

My room has a single bed with pale white sheets that hasn't been washed for like months (because I never dared to use the washing machine unless I am sure my mum won't be back for more than 12 hours), a personal bathroom, and a small study table…that's all. Other than that, it doesn't have any decorations, no nothing, because I don't want to risk my mum's wrath when she sees 'her' walls decorated with posters or pictures. I yawn, and fell asleep.

I must have been very tired, for I was awakened by the door slamming. Good God. Mum must be home. She sounds drunk. I hear her stumbling and crashing into walls, and finally the footsteps stop outside my door. She twists the doorknob and staggers in. I know what is coming. I stand up and watch as she shuffles to the bed, strips off her clothes and even her underwear. I gulp, as she spreads her legs and slurs, "Do it, Rue."

I have no choice. I nod once, and walk towards her.

My thoughts race as I wash my hands very thoroughly that night. The only thing that I could think about is that my mum has split personalities. When she is sober, she treats me harshly. When she is drunk, she treats me like a…I don't know. Sex toy seems to be too strong a word. A pleasure toy will be more appropriate. I don't know which is worse. I bite my lip and continued washing my hands, trying to rid them of the filth I got from her. It's easy to wash off physically, but emotionally? Not so easy. I give my hands a final scrub, before climbing to my bed, and falling asleep.

As you guessed, I wake up to a stinging slap to my face. My mum has become sober again. "Rue Execratus! You have left a stain on your bed again!" My mum yells. I don't even bother to point out that it was her who came to my bed drunk and asked me to do dirty things to her. That would have been suicide. "Having dirty thoughts, huh? Well, I shall hit it out of you, then!" I don't scream, as I know that would encourage her. I grit my teeth as searing pain hits my skin, and pretty soon, blood begins to flow from the marks. I am left on the ground as my mother wipes the blood from her cane, and I feel my own blood splatter on my face. "See how you dare think of that stuff from now on!" she hisses as she walks away. Sheesh, what is she so mad for? It wasn't even my fault my bed sheet is stained. Why can't she remember what she did?

I check my clock, and realize I have no time to clean my wounds. I grab my bag, and rush to school via the train. I got there with five minutes to spare. Only my seatmate is in, though. I sit next to him.

He nods, as if to say hello and returns to his History textbook. He seems to notice something, as he says, "What happened, Execratus?" I look down, and realized blood has seep through my sleeve.

"I fell down the stairs this morning." I mumble, even though I knew it was a lie. Besides, it's not like he can actually find out because as far as I am concerned, I am the only one who knows what is happening to me. Tezuka didn't say anything so I'm guessing he bought it. Just then, the bell rang, and as if on cue, the class marches in noisily. I silently grit my teeth as the blood touches my other wounds, intensifying the pain on my arms. I fold my arms so as to hide the blood flowing. Maybe I can wash them off during lunch later. For now, I will just listen to the teacher. The teacher was ranting on about some organization, NATO (North Atlantic Treaty Organization), which is an intergovernmental military alliance based on the North Atlantic Treaty which was signed on 4 April 1949. For its first few years, NATO was not much more than a political association. However, the Korean War galvanized the member states, and an integrated military structure was built up under the direction of two U.S. supreme commanders. I yawn as the teacher drones on, no longer having any interest, and started to daydream, occasionally breaking out of them to take important notes.

Not that there is much, anyway, since History is all about reading and memorizing.

After what seems to be a century, the final bell rang, signaling lunchtime. I immediately stand up, and went to the ladies. Later, I let out a sigh of relief as the cool water washes off the blood on my forearms. I patted my wounds dry, and roll down my sleeve again. Hopefully the blood doesn't flow again. I hope mum is not at home, because I intend to wash my gakuren after school. She'll go berserk if she sees blood on my uniform, and assume I get into a fight, and I'll get caning again.

I can't risk that happening.

I shake my head to get all these thoughts out, and walk back to my classroom.

**BP: I had writer's block and 10 minutes, so it may be bad, because I am trying to do it all in the first person's POV, and all in present tense (Ok, most. Some had to be in past tense)**


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